


we all need someone to stay

by artsyleo



Series: comfortember 2020 [4]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Boys In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Legal Drama, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Referenced - Freeform, because he completely glossed over it, becomes abundantly clear that author knows nothing about legal bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:13:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27391771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyleo/pseuds/artsyleo
Summary: comfortember prompt day 4 - anxietythe day of thompson's trial comes, and callum's anxious
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: comfortember 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995826
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	we all need someone to stay

**Author's Note:**

> tw for talk of anxiety, slight ref to breakdown? nail/skin biting
> 
> (for reference i know nothing about legal stuff or whether thompson would actually go to court for what he's doing, or whether callum would get in trouble, but just like for the sake of fic ignore that)

Ben doesn’t bring it up until he catches Callum sitting alone at the kitchen table, chewing the already-raw skin on the side of his thumb. He remembers seeing it when Callum had fallen asleep first the night before, the way it had already started scabbing over, and it makes worry burn through him. It’s mainly because he’s seen Callum do this kind of thing before, and he’s always hated seeing it but he hates it even more when it starts again without Ben noticing. He also hates the way it makes shame and guilt burn across his boyfriend’s face, but it’s unavoidable. 

Callum doesn’t even react when he walks in the room, eyes still trained unseeing in front of him. He doesn’t even move his hand, which proves how out of it he is. He pulls a chair so that he’s sitting directly in his line of sight, and then taps the table, just beside where Callum’s elbow rests. 

“Cal?” he says quietly, and when he shifts a finger to stroke across the skin of his arm, Callum’s eyes flicker back to him. 

“Sorry,” Callum replies, and it’s a split second but Ben doesn’t miss the way Callum catches sight of his thumb, and sighs. “Sorry, I didn’t realise I was doing it again.”

“You don’t need to apologise,” Ben says carefully, tilting his head slightly so that their eyes catch again. “What’s on your mind?” 

Callum sighs, and his other hand pushes over his face. “I don’t, uh- just, today.” 

Ben nods, and the hand that was resting near Callum’s elbow moves to take his hand, squeezing it, knowing that Callum likes the pressure of it, the reminder of  _ I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere _ . It’s something they’ve talked about since everything happened, since Callum had begged him to stay, convincing himself wrongly that Ben could ever leave. He’s told him that, whispered it to him in the middle of the night more times than he can remember, but he knows that Callum still struggles with it. He doesn’t mind, though, because he’ll never tire of promising Callum forever. 

“Hey, listen to me,” Ben says, and waits until Callum looks back at him. “I’m not gonna lie to you, yeah, it’s not going to be easy. But I promise you, you are gonna get through this.” 

Callum doesn’t even have to explain, it couldn’t be anything else today. 

Today, when Callum’s going to be in court, over Thompson’s case. 

Ben doesn’t need to be a mind reader to know that Callum’s terrified. 

“You think?” Callum says, and his voice is quiet, meek, and there’s unfortunately familiar doubt in his eyes. Ben wants more than anything to be able to quiet his mind, to tell him that everything’s going to turn out how he wants to. The truth is, though, Ben knows better than most that no matter how this goes, it won’t be without impact. It’s going to be  _ hard _ , and he hates that Callum has to go through it, and that the only thing he can do is be here. 

“Without a doubt,” Ben says, because if there’s one thing that he’s sure of, it’s that there’s so much strength in the man in front of him, more than enough to make it through this, and he’ll spend every minute convincing him of it if he has to. 

“Fuck, this is all my fault,” he says. “I’ve dragged you into all of this, I’m- I’m so sorry, Ben.” 

“Hey, listen,” Ben replies, standing up so that he can place hands on either side of Callum’s face, a thumb stroking under his eye, attracting his attention. “This was  _ not _ your fault, okay? You were blackmailed, what he was doing was illegal.”

“But-”

“Ah, ah, not buts,” He says, and the little hint of a smirk that flickers across Callum, like he’s reminding himself of Ben’s comment from so long ago, is a sign that Ben’s getting through, if only just. It’s something, though. “Get your mind out of the gutter, mister.”

Callum laughs, a hesitant little sound but it still makes Ben’s heart race. “You were thinking it too.” 

“Course not,” Ben laughs, and sits back down on his chair, hands unmoving. “But seriously, darlin’. I’ll be sat there the whole time. You’re going to do amazing, and you’re going to come back home tonight and Lexi’s going to give you a big hug, then she’s gonna go out with her mum and I’m going to take you to bed.” 

In reality, he’s planned it all because he  _ knows  _ Callum. He knows this is going to break him, so he’d made sure that Lexi could be around to take his mind off it. Then he’d planned to clear the house so that Callum has space to break without worrying about anyone else hearing. But the lie’s little and harmless, and it makes Callum smile, which is the one thing he needs right now. 

“I love you, Ben,” he says, and there’s still a shaking in his hands, still that residual fear in his eyes, but he looks more confident now, like there’s some sort of belief in his head that maybe it’s possible for this to be okay. That’s all they need, that little inkling of hope- as long as it’s there, they can make it through this. 

“I love you too,” he replies, and when Callum leans across the table to press a kiss against his lips, he knows they’re going to be okay. 

**Author's Note:**

> i kind of really want this sl to end up with di dickhead on trial bc like the comfort that could come from callum being in court would be amazing  
> also apologies this took so long but it's still technically the right day and i was anxious myself bc life lmao, anyways comments/kudos mean the world to me, and i hope you enjoyed it, also find me on tumblr @artsy-highway hehe, stay safe <3  
> leo x


End file.
